Avoid Future Family Chaos by Merely Allowing Open Discourse with Parents
Start Open Discussions with Senior Parents Now!
There are many ways to lend an ear to the wishes of aging parents. During a casual visit, or when family gathers to celebrate birthdays, holidays and special occasions, heed parents' voices while they can tell you what they want before they enter the stages ahead in their ensuing years. If parents don't initiate discussions to let their preferences be known, tactfully pose questions to begin a conversation. Sometimes situations concerning other elderly family members or friends can open the door to broader discourse and better understanding.
There are many ways to lend an ear to the wishes of aging parents. During a casual visit, or when family gathers to celebrate birthdays, holidays and special occasions, heed parents' voices while they can tell you what they want before they enter the stages ahead in their ensuing years. If parents don't initiate discussions to let their preferences be known, tactfully pose questions to begin a conversation. Sometimes situations concerning other elderly family members or friends can open the door to broader discourse and better understanding.
We were so lucky to have a mother who expressed her last wishes in advance. Many children find it awkward to discuss such matters, but with input up front, it really makes the journey ahead much easier. We knew where important documents and papers were located, and what her accounts and monthly expenses were. My sister helped Mom put all her recurring monthly utility bills and HOA fees on auto-pay, and it saved a lot of time and stamps! Mom had purchased a prepaid memorial plan years ago, and readily discussed all final preferences openly with us.
Seniors are now living well into their nineties and beyond. Therefore, families must begin a relaxed dialogue to openly discuss the following topics together with them.
Several Recommended Topics for Discussion with Parents:
Finances (savings, charge card balances, monthly bills); retirement benefits and assets(pensions, social security, investments, mutual funds, IRAs); important papers and documents(safety deposit box, keys, account numbers, wills, deeds, life insurance policies, burial plots);doctors (specialists, health insurance information, health records); prescriptions (pharmacy locations, list of daily medications); attorneys and advisors; brokers (stocks, bonds); preferences on living arrangements (home, family member's home, senior assisted living, moving out-of-state); funeral preferences (location, memorial service details, burial or cremation); living will; medical power of attorney; financial power of attorney; names, addresses and phone numbers of loved ones and friends.
A recently widowed parent may require assistance with planning, brought on by grieving, poor health, insufficient finances, or inexperience handling bills and money matters.
The topics may sound overwhelming, but everything needn't be discussed in one session. Over time, the concerns, answers, and wisest decisions will come to focus.
Document Family Ancestry Information with Parents
Another helpful plan is to get facts about ancestors and document them now. Record family stories and important events; clarify family names, dates and locations. As time goes by, a parent's memory may fade. Undoubtedly, you'll wish you had asked more questions!
Another helpful plan is to get facts about ancestors and document them now. Record family stories and important events; clarify family names, dates and locations. As time goes by, a parent's memory may fade. Undoubtedly, you'll wish you had asked more questions!
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